Supporting Your Child Through Anxiety: A Guide for Parents

Recognising Anxiety in Children

Children often can't articulate what they're feeling. Instead of saying "I'm anxious," they might complain of stomach aches, refuse to go to school, cling, have tantrums, or withdraw. Recognising these signs is the first step to helping.

The Tricky Balance: Support Without Accommodation

One of the most counterintuitive aspects of supporting an anxious child is that too much reassurance can backfire. When we constantly rescue children from discomfort, we inadvertently confirm their belief that the world is dangerous and they can't cope.

The goal is to be a safe base, not a safe house. Acknowledge their feelings and gently encourage them to face their fears at a manageable pace.

Practical Strategies

Validate, Then Encourage

Say "I understand that feels scary" before "but you can do it." Validation first builds trust and reduces emotional intensity.

Use a Worry Time

Designate 10–15 minutes a day as "worry time" where your child can share their concerns. This prevents worries from spilling into every moment of the day.

Model Calmness

Children pick up on parental anxiety. When you can manage your own worry, you give your child a powerful model to follow.

Breathing Exercises

Teach simple breathing exercises like "smell the flowers, blow out the candles" for younger children. Make it playful and practise when they're calm, not in the middle of an anxious moment.

When to Seek Professional Help

If your child's anxiety is affecting school attendance, friendships, sleep, or eating, a child psychologist can provide targeted support. Early intervention makes a significant difference.